Perrysodes: Doofapus Transcript

(Cuts to the backyard. Perry puts on his fedora and his helmet. He then pulls a tricycle out of the bushes, and begins to ride it. He rings the bells and then goes to an underground tunnel, and through the parking garage. He then goes to the elevator that leads him to his lair. He parks his tricycle by chaining it to the bike racks)

Major Monogram:  Come in. Sit down, Agent P. We have a serious problem. It seems that someone, and I'm not saying who, someone has spilled on the couch in the lobby.

Carl:  Sir, I..

Major Monogram:  A very expensive couch when we bought it in 1985.

Carl:  Sir, all I did was turn the cushion over, the stain was already...

Major Monogram:  If the responsible party is present...

Carl:  Sir, it was  Agent M. He spilled a latte in 1990.

Major Monogram:  Ugh. We were hoping to get him here a couple of years out of that couch...

Carl:  Anywho?

Major Monogram:  Uh?Anywho, our surveillance operatives have been getting some mixed signals from Doofenshmirtz. He was observed at the Danville Library, checking out books on Eastern Australia and hydrostatic cell fusion. We haven't come up with any ideas about what he's up to..

Carl:  Maybe he's trying to recreate Pangaea,sir.

Major Monogram:  Like I said, we haven't come up with anything yet. So, we need you to get in there, and find out. Good luck, and be careful out there.

(Cuts to exterior of Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.)                                                                                                        ♪  Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! ♪ (Perry falls into Doofenshmirtz's traps)                                                  Doofensh​mirtz : Well, hello, Perry the Platypus! Over here. No, here. Look a-Look a little more this way. Digaligaligaligaligaligaligaligaligaliga! What do you think? Huh? I've joined you in the genus Ornithorhynchus. That's right, I am a platypus! (Evil laughter)  Yeah, hang on. Let me turn off the dramatic lighting. How did this come to be? I'll tell you since you didn't ask. After years of being bested by your battles, I decided to fight fire with fire, and in both cases fire means platypus, and with just means with. It was simple; the best way to beat a platypus was to become a platypus. That way, our skills would be evenly matched. So, after a couple of hours of promising experiments and some intricate designs, I finally created the Platyp-inator! Pretty good, huh? Now, before I defeat you, I think I should further level the playing field. There, now I'm trapped too. And go! You're not struggling, I said go.

(Song: A Platypus Fight)

 ♪  Let's go! ♪

 ♪  The time has come to do their dance,  ♪

 ♪  no room for negotiation,  ♪

 ♪  one's got a hat, neither has pants,  ♪

 ♪  but there's best no further explanation  ♪ ,

 ♪  I think you know what's gonna go down  ♪

 ♪  Yeah, there's gonna be a platypus throwdown!... ♪

 ♪  Fight! Fight! There's a platypus fight! ♪

 ♪  It's a fracas, it's a fray, it's a monotreme mêlée  ♪

 ♪  Fight! Fight! There's a platypus fight! ♪

 ♪  If you're watching at home, there's a seven second delay,  ♪

 ♪  Fight! Fight! There's a platypus fight! ♪

 ♪  It's a duck-billed duel, it's a beaver-tail battle. ♪

 ♪  Fight! Fight! There's a platypus fight! ♪

 ♪  Gonna smack you so hard that your teeth are gonna rattle. ♪

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> ♪  It's a platypus fight! ♪

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Doofenshmirtz: How about we take a short break? Do you ever get tired of lugging this big tail around? I mean, sure, it's great for fighting, but it's weird for sitting and stuff. I just figure I'd ask you because you know, you would know. Uh, sugar or agave syrup? (Perry points to agave syrup) Here. I don't know if this is fur or really tiny feathers. I can't tell. It's so warm, but it breathes. Well, back at it, I guess.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> ♪  Fight, fight  ♪

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> ♪  There's a platypus fight  ♪

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> ♪  It's a fracas, it's a fray it's a mo--  ♪

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> ♪  Fight! Fight! There's a platypus fight! ♪

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> ♪  It's a duuck-biiiilleeeed. (slow-mo)  ♪

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Doofenshmirtz: Okay, Perry the Platypus, this isn't work I need to be something stronger than a platypus.Let's see..what's-what's stronger than a platypus....Two platypuses, that's it! I got just the thing right away in.Behold! My Double Inator! I'll just shoot myself with this baby, and then I will have the advantage because there will be two of me.. (Perry attacks Doofapus, which sets off the Double-inator, hitting Phineas and Ferb's invention, making it liquify)

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Phineas: Anyone else see that?

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Doofenshmirtz: Wonder what that hit. Whatever that is, there's two of them now. Soon there's gonna be two of me, and then nothing can defeat me! Except maybe a bigger platypus made out of metal. Yeah, like that.(grunts) Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Even though I'm also a platypus at this point, and I hope this wears off soon.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">